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Old 28-09-2020, 18:17   #1
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Halloween Month VIII: The Virus Diaries

Real life is horror so let's spend some time with the comforting fake kind...

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So comment here on what you will be watching/have just watched this October and/or what you think I should be watching instead of the crap I inevitably will be watching.
Hope you're all well and staying safe folks
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Old 29-09-2020, 16:11   #2
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My favourite thread of the year.

Will try to do a film a day but guess ill burn out a week in again.
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Old 30-09-2020, 00:00   #3
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I'll probably try and do a film a day or so, but at the moment it's unlikely i'll manage many, I'm struggling to work through my current blu-ray backlog (maybe an hour or two a day if i'm lucky).
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Old 30-09-2020, 14:36   #4
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And to think last year I thought you'd struggle to find a theme as real life horrific as Brexit was for 2020's thread.

What a year!
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Old 01-10-2020, 09:40   #5
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Good to hear from you again, G!

It's a veritable multi-choice of apocalyptic scenarios hitting us thick and fast these days. If next year deals us the Return of the Old Ones as well I don't think it'd raise more than a shrug!

Having spent a significant portion of lockdown on a creature feature bender this year, I wanted to flag a few standouts that, up until now, had flown completely under my radar...

Wer (2013)
Starring some familiar faces from TV (A.J. Cook, Sebastian Roché, Simon Quarterman and Chuck's very own Vik Sahay), Wer offers an interesting modern take on the werewolf movie. Following the grizzly caught-on-camera murder of a family out camping in France by a "large hairy bestial looking assailant" A.J. and team come to the legal defence of hairy recluse Talan Gwynek who they believe is getting railroaded by the French constabulary. Filmed in a documentary style, the movie maintains a very grounded reality before shifting gears into "Holy ******* ****!" territory. I heartily recommend this flick. It offers some brutally punchy werewolf carnage that is extremely tense and effective. Oh, and there's an icky eyeball sequence for the Fulci fans.
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Mosquito (1994)
The directorial debut of visual effects guy Gary Jones. Now, I'm acquainted with Gary due to Spiders (2000) and Crocodile 2: Death Swamp (2002) from my prized creature feature 10-pack DVD set from Woolworths back in the day. When alien DNA infected mosquitos grow to a humongous size, a rag-tag band of survivors must band to together to fight this menace to humanity! Made on a micro-budget, Mosquito isn't going to win any awards for acting or production value but what it does have is a large amount of creativity in its attempt to punch above its weight. Reminiscent of early Peter Jackson, there are plenty of inventive effects work at play as we move from one schlocky action scene to the next, upping the ante each time.
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The Breed (2006)
Five friends rock up at their rich pal's private island getaway. Unfortunately, a pack of genetically altered canines have marked this place as their territory now and don't take kindly to the intrusion. While not the greatest movie ever made, this did make an impression on me for the simple fact that the characters, despite setting up predictable tropes, once the **** hits the fan pull together and act proactively to get themselves out of their predicament. That's not rocket science, you might think, but when you watch a whole ******** of low budget creature features back to back you realise how rare an occurrence that actually is. It has to be said too that the doggies are impressively used throughout. There's a terrific shot with a character in the water and killer hounds angling in from all directions which I found very effective.
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Old 01-10-2020, 10:38   #6
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Nice to see so many familiar names still around!

Cheers Weasel, never heard of Wer, need to watch it just to see if Lester from Chuck gets mistaken for a lesbian.

Got so many blus available to watch this year I'm trying to think of the best way to randomize my picks...

https://twitter.com/SuccinctReview/s...12952949260289



I'm hoping I'll manage at least one film per night.
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Old 01-10-2020, 12:32   #7
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Thanks GPR79 for setting up another thread.
Another vote for Wer very very good film - i caught it on amazon, not sure if it is still on there.
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Old 01-10-2020, 12:47   #8
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Started with Pandamonium.

Microbudgeted throwback to 80s slasher films complete with dodgy one liners. A good idea done on a tiny budget, with some amusing scenes, but also some woeful acting.

Killed (now im at it) some time, but hopefully some better choices to come.
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Old 01-10-2020, 18:15   #9
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Thanks GPR79 for setting up another thread.
Another vote for Wer very very good film - i caught it on amazon, not sure if it is still on there.
It's on Shudder.
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Old 01-10-2020, 18:24   #10
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#1 - The Hole In The Ground (2019)

A single mum with a traumatic past escapes to a small town in Ireland to start afresh, only for strange things to start happening to and around her son.

I was looking forward to this as it gets pretty good reviews but I was bored to tears by it.

It's a standard "is he isn't he some sort of evil child" psychological horror, with him seemingly playing with an imaginary friend while nobody's around or having angry outbursts - that kind of thing.

Zero scares though and even less ability to make me give a ****.

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Old 01-10-2020, 22:56   #11
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#2 - Wer (2013)

Go on then - seeing as everyone else has.

The first 40 minutes are like the worst episode of Castle you'll ever see, with that speccy fella mumbling his way through scene after scene and the poor man's Claire Danes going through the motions, oblivious to his puppy dog eyes.

But the second half more than makes up for it with an entertainingly silly romp of daytime werewolf carnage, assisted by some very solid wire work, nicely crunchy choreography and a final act showdown that hits its mark.

We get some intense (but inexplicable) eyeball trauma, some cannon fodder being bent into shapes that god never intended, some very well realised (for the budget) transformation effects and some ropy CGI splatter effects that are almost (but not quite) hidden by the body-cam footage aesthetic.

Overall I wouldn't say it's amazing but it's loads of fun, it put a smile on my face and I'm glad I watched it.

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Old 02-10-2020, 10:47   #12
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Wheel of Sleaze randomizer picked these...

#01 - Killer Crocodile (1989)
Group of dubbed Italian hippie/conservationists investigating the pollution of an unnamed poor South American country's water supply get tangled up in a game of cat and mouse with a large slow moving rubber crocodile. Lots of impressive lol's to be had here despite the relatively relaxed pace. My personal fav came about halfway thru the flick when the hippie's finally discover it's a croc that's been munching on their pals and instantly decide the croc should be protected, not hunted and killed. That viewpoint doesn't last, thankfully and before long they've teamed up with a geriatric completely inept Captain Ahab-alike croc hunter. Short, sweet and culminating in an impressively OTT explosive blood spattered finale. Who knew Richard Crenna had a son that made dodgy Italian horror flicks? Who knew crocs were this flammable? Who knew there was a Killer Crocodile 2? Who knew these were questions I'd ever want to know the answers to?

#02 - Kolobos (1999)
Handful of annoying 90's stereotypical youngsters show up for a post-Real-World, pre-Big-Brother style reality show living situation and start getting picked off one by one. Apparently this flick gets a lot of love; it's been granted a nice Arrow SE. Not sure why to be honest, yes it's very slightly a cut above your usual straight to video 90's slasher but not by much. It does have some style and fun [but unconvincing] practical Hellraiser type self-mutilation effects but the actors are mostly terrible and despite some promising plot points the story doesn't really go anywhere. Forgettable, mildly enjoyable. Meh. The directors/writers seem fun on the commentary track, pity they didn't make anything else I guess?

Right, for tomorrow night I need another random flick. Someone pick a number between 1 and 43 please
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Old 02-10-2020, 11:52   #13
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Old 02-10-2020, 12:15   #14
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24
OK then...

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Old 02-10-2020, 13:09   #15
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#01 - Killer Crocodile (1989)
Who knew there was a Killer Crocodile 2?
Both were part of my lockdown creature feature bender.
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Old 02-10-2020, 14:03   #16
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#2 - The Turning (2020). Another version of The Turn of the screw. Visually very impressive (the directors experience in music videos is apparent) , but acting a bit wafty, it turns into a collection of weak jump scares and has a very poor (open) ending.

I shouldve gone with Wer.
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Old 02-10-2020, 14:12   #17
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The Turning is truly awful, caught it on the big screen before the lockdown and it's a textbook example of a filmmaker taking worthy material and just directing it into the ground by trying to be "original". It also has one of the most confusingly abrupt endings in the history of cinema.

I thought Hole in the Ground was a solid film, but it is completely reliant on whether you settle into the sombre atmosphere of the piece as there's **** all else going on. I thought it was well directed though.

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Old 02-10-2020, 17:34   #18
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Death trench aka Trench 11 (2017) strangely amazon list it as 2019

Trailer...



Not bad WW1 horror flick, ok acting and an interesting story. Seems they had a fair budget so doesnt look cheap like alot of these movies do. Some nice effects with the
5 out of 10
This is on Amazon prime.
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Old 02-10-2020, 18:53   #19
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#03 - Killer Crocodile (1990)
How can the same croc happen to the same guy twice? This time the same location is rebranded as a swamp in "the caribbean" and the hero hippie (Crenna Jr.) doesn't show up until 40 mins into the flick. Until then we have to make do with the rather dull exploits of intrepid investigative reporter Liza (no last name) as she tries to get to the bottom of an even more involved water pollution plot that really bogs the [admittedly short] flick down somewhat. She's easy on the eyes mind; expertly balancing stupidity, eye-poppingly casual homophobia and gratuitous nudity. Plus it all culminates nicely in another explodey croc spectacle with bonus points for "subtle" use of a toy gator with a GI Joe doll strapped to it in the finale.
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Old 02-10-2020, 21:10   #20
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#3 - Vampires vs the Bronx (2020)

"Yo! We got vampires in the Bronx!"


I really enjoyed this. A change of pace for sure but that's not a bad thing.

A nest of vampires start buying up properties in The Bronx under the guise of Murnau Real Estate Agency (get it?) because they reckon people can go missing in the hood without anyone caring. Given that they have Vlad the Impaler as their logo, they’re not exactly being subtle about their cover story, but PR goes a long way.

But a group of local schoolkids get wind of what's going on and start planning their response.

This new Netflix offering is part Lost Boys, part Disturbia, part Get Out (yes, really) part Monster Squad, part Buffy, part Thriller video, part Stranger Things but before the kids grew up and became annoying as fu*k – in fact there isn’t much that this doesn’t ape in one way or another, but it’s done with real heart and competence.
The easy charm and chemistry of the 3 leads helps a lot but nobody here is dialling it in.

Shea Whigham, Zoe Saldana and Method Man star in...sorry, I can’t say that with a straight face. Shea’s doing a lot of the heavy lifting here in truth, while the other bigger stars are little more than cameos.

Our bunch of teenage vampire hunters are very much not The Frog Brothers, as the action here is mostly bloodless, but don’t let the 12 certificate put you off. It has enough chuckles and personality to make up for the weak sauce vampire attacks and it might be one I come back to for some family Halloween entertainment for years to come.



"He’s a really bad man!"
"Of course he is, he’s in real estate"



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