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Old 14-09-2009, 08:46   #1
Harsin
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Your Worst Reads?

What are the most godawful books you've had the misfortune of reading.

I posted about this author in the TV Forum when the show 'The Legend of the Seeker', based on his work, was announced.

Quite a few years ago I picked up a few of Terry Goodkind's Sword of Truth series from the local library.

Even by the low, low standards of the fantasy genre novel these are exceptionally bad because in addition to your standard back of postcard sword and sorcery world the writer is a hardcore objectivist with a stiffy for Ayn Rand and a BDSM fetish.

Now the first book doesn't start out too terrible, it's just your standard uninspired fantasy, but towards the end it takes a left turn...



After this the books get even worse and if you're a fan of rape scenes and a hero who chops up hippy peace protestors then boy is this the series for you!

I'll leave you with this passage from the series:

Quote:
Hissing, hackles lifting, the chicken's head rose. Kahlan pulled back. Its claws digging into stiff dead flesh, the chicken slowly turned to face her. It cocked its head, making its comb flop, its wattles sway. "Shoo," Kahlan heard herself whisper. There wasn't enough light, and besides, the side of its beak was covered with gore, so she couldn't tell if it had the dark spot, But she didn't need to see it. "Dear spirits, help me," she prayed under her breath. The bird let out a slow chicken cackle. It sounded like a chicken, but in her heart she knew it wasn't. In that instant, she completely understood the concept of a chicken that was not a chicken. This looked like a chicken, like most of the Mud People's chickens. But this was no chicken. This was evil manifest.

Last edited by Harsin; 14-09-2009 at 17:08.
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Old 14-09-2009, 11:38   #2
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I have the misfortune of reading the whole 10 volumes of Hubbard's Mission Earth.

At the time I was making use of my local library and reading some of their science fiction and fantasy collection. I enjoyed the epic stories spread over several books. Sometimes I needed to request some books in a series from other local libraries. I found in my library volume 7 of Mission Earth, investigated and was intrigued by a story needing 10 big books to cover. I had previously read Battlefield Earth which I enjoyed and had no idea of Hubbard as anything other than a science fiction author. I put a request in for the remaining volumes and the library was able to retrieve nearly all the volumes from other libraries but couldn't find where the first volume had gone. Since they had volumes 2 to 10 they decided to purchase a new volume 1. This must have swallowed a good chunk of their book buying budget as they rarely got new books and mostly used donated books. I excitedly started to read the first volume but quickly realised that it was just silly, disgusting and poorly written. Since the library staff went to some lengths to get the complete collection I decide the least I could do was read them all.
Today I can not remember much of them apart from how it became a chore to read, making sure I read so many pages each day. I returned to the library about 10 years later and they still had all 10 volumes taking up a good portion of the sci-fi section. The first has been taken out several times but the rest had only been take out once since I had them out. It is probably been another 10 years since I returned and I doubt they have moved much in the mean time.
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Old 14-09-2009, 11:48   #3
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Digital Fortress by Dan Brown,

I keep bringing this up on here, but i'm haunted by how godawful it was.

Not only does he finish chapters with crap like "but little did she know, things were about to take a turn for the worse...", but there is so much in there that is mindlessley stupid that it beggars belief.

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Old 14-09-2009, 11:50   #4
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To BigDavie2000:

I read the first four or five of those. Dreadful books (though the first book was mildly entertaining in a 'poor man's Stainless Steel Rat' kind of way).

To hookbeak:

Yes, absolutely disgraceful book.

Last edited by statto; 14-09-2009 at 11:51.
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Old 14-09-2009, 12:01   #5
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i just found a better description on amazon of the bit i was talking about :




Last edited by hookbeak; 14-09-2009 at 12:10.
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Old 14-09-2009, 13:32   #6
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There was a nice list of Dan Brown errors in the paper that I can't find online. It would be worst thing I'd read if I'd read any. Does he really have a character phone up at one point saying 'Hello, this is the London Police'
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Old 14-09-2009, 13:35   #7
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The bible
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Old 14-09-2009, 13:57   #8
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Jack Kerouac's On the Road. The only book I've ever started and not finished - a dreadfully dull piece of waffling tosh.
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Old 14-09-2009, 14:04   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by uk_mez View Post
Jack Kerouac's On the Road. The only book I've ever started and not finished - a dreadfully dull piece of waffling tosh.
Got to agree with that. I got half way through it and it was on the road to Oxfam.
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Old 14-09-2009, 14:07   #10
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Seven Ancient Wonders by Matthew Reilly.

Quite enjoyed his earlier stuff for what it was (OTT Jerry Bruckheimer action movies on the page), but this was garbage. It's so poorly written, he even gave up putting in descriptions of the booby traps the various characters were trying to avoid, & just put illustrations of them in there instead!
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Old 14-09-2009, 14:54   #11
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The Taking by Dean Koontz.

I'm a big fan of his early work but his recent output has been very hit 'n miss. This being a horrendous low. Thankfully, it was so awful, it's already faded from memory (despite reading it only about a year ago)....

I also agree regarding Matthew Reilly. His Scarecrow books are fantastic OTT fun, but his new Indiana Jones rip-off series is really bad.
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Old 14-09-2009, 15:05   #12
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Jack Kerouac's On the Road. The only book I've ever started and not finished - a dreadfully dull piece of waffling tosh.
"That's not writing, that's typing"

I'm with Capote there, I think.
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Old 14-09-2009, 15:37   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by uk_mez View Post
Jack Kerouac's On the Road. The only book I've ever started and not finished - a dreadfully dull piece of waffling tosh.
Have to agree, I struggled to get to the end of that one.
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Old 14-09-2009, 16:11   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDavie2000 View Post
I have the misfortune of reading the whole 10 volumes of Hubbard's Mission Earth.
I think I managed to read about 3 of them, I was ill at the time and they were all i'd got available that I hadn't read (I'd picked them up from the library a week or so earlier).

They were bad...I can see why Hubbard invented a religion, his writing wasn't likely to pay the bills otherwise

Harsin, to my shame I actually read the whole series start to finish, and it pretty much stays at that level throughout, after about the third book you can spot a very definite pattern to it.
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Old 14-09-2009, 16:39   #15
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I think Stephen King's Rose Madder was the only book I didn't finish purely due to the fact I wasn't arsed what actually happened.

Da Vinci Code is sooooo awful.. but I did finish it.

Last edited by philatio; 14-09-2009 at 16:51.
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Old 14-09-2009, 16:42   #16
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I think Stephen King's Rose Madder was the only book I didn't finished purely due to the fact I wasn't arsed what actually happened.
Only King book i never finished. Very disappointing.
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Old 14-09-2009, 16:45   #17
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About the only thing recently that I failed to finish (and that means it was really terrible) was Patricia Cornwell's Isle of Dogs.

Amazon describe it as a comic romp, but not only was it not funny (even slightly) it was crap. Really poor. Awful.
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Old 14-09-2009, 16:51   #18
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Originally Posted by SIMON ADEBISI View Post
Only King book i never finished. Very disappointing.

Worse thing was.. it was the only Stephen King book I ever had. After seeing movies and TV adaptations I thought I'll try a book.. and randomly picked that one.
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Old 14-09-2009, 17:10   #19
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The
in It has to be one of best examples of a terrible section in an otherwise good book. What the hell were you thinking Stevie?
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Old 14-09-2009, 17:15   #20
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Ooooh, that was very weird that bit was.

Bet he regrets that now.
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